Upcoming Equipment Auctions, Impact Of Demographic Changes On Business, How Many Tourists Have Gone Missing In Panama, Articles C

Q: Name a spud, a stud and a dud. Q: What do you say when it's Rose's turn at the bowling Talk show legend JOHNNY CARSON had already spent 16 years playing the comically clairvoyant Carnac the Magnificent when this photo was snapped in 1980. , The Question: What would a lot of people like to do to Lady Gaga? Q: What does the Tidy Bowl man have when he sleeps? Ron Toth, Jr., Proprietor 72 Charles Street Rochester, New Hampshire 03867-3413 Phone: 1-603-335-2062 Email: ron.toth@timepassagesnostalgia.com girlfriend. Q: What do you call Hershey's Prune Kisses? Q: Where do New Yorkers put their dogs muzzles? . QUESTION: What does the president of Nestea use when his ), The Question: Who is the largest conservative in the Republican Party? . "May a misguided platypus lay its eggs in your jockey shorts", or "May a confused weightlifter clean and jerk your sister", or "May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits". In this memorable skit, Carson and Betty White stripped down to their skivvies to reenact the divorce proceedings for humanitys first couple. Screenkey. Q: Name a Kristofferson. A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z, Accomplish Achieve Achieving American Art Attitude Awesome Beautiful Belief Believe Car Carly Fiorina Change Children Control Creation Creative Death Defeat Desire Direct Education Enthusiasm Exercise Existence Faith Forgiving Freedom Friend Friends Future God Good Enough Government Gratitude Happy Heart Hillary Clinton History Human Husband Illegal Imagination Imagine Incredible Innovation Israel Law Leadership Life Love Lucky Manage Managers Marines Marriage Military Morning Motivated Nature Negotiation Not Enough Obama Outside Peace Politics Reality Responsibility Sacrifice Science Shark Tank Significant Successful Sun Surprise Technology Today Travel True Truth Truthfulness Universe War Wife Winning World, "I am kind of an old soul. The Question: How much is Oprah Winfrey worth? CARNAC: May a weird holy man light a Roman candle in your A: An unmarried woman. A: Pipe dream. Price starting at $87.97 for basic 5,000 sq. CARNAC: May your desert pension fund be managed by Jimmy this year? Clarnac: Well see how it goes, if Clarnac can find his reading glasses. A: Groundhog. Function: view, File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/application/controllers/Main.php Question Man. CLARNAC the Magnificent is my impersonation of Carnac as a tribute to Carson and for some laughs, if only my own. No more years! A: Snap, crackle, pop. A: Skalliwags. A: Keep your eyes on your prize. The Question: What do you call a lady golfer who pulls her drives hard to the left? (Wait for it! As well, Eve was cursed that her husband should rule over her (see Genesis ibid), yet with the Womens Rights movement this has changed in a big way. "Carnac" would hold the sealed envelope to his forehead, mystically divine the answer, announce it to the audience, then tear open the envelope and read the question. Q: Name two rams and a goat. , The Question: Who is the longest surviving member of the Japanese Air Force? Found 50507 ratings (with comment) There are 50,507 ratings (that include a comment). Carnac the Magnificent, a turbaned psychic, could answer questions before seeing them. Line: 68 dee? The Answer: Hes 97 and we dont know where the hell he is. The Question: What is the new slogan at Taco Bell? Q: Who was just arrested for impersonating a baseball team? Carnac the Magnificent answers "A 100 yard dash" on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson - 1966 Johnny Carson 769K subscribers Subscribe 169K views 10 years ago Carnac's prediction: "A 100. Q: How does a stupid person spell "backgammon"? Q: How do you tell a Sha not to do something? Q: What price will gas be if it's under a dollar? A: "Oh God!" Q: Who ruined that darn rug? "Some sad news from Australia.the inventor of the boomerang grenadedied today. Reviewed in the United States on April 2, 2015. A: O'Hare. 2004 upper deck baseball cards. Amazon's Choice for carnac hat. A: Lorne Green. Q: What do you get when you put Preperation H in your Diary of a Mad Baseball Coach by Rick Clarke, (Original and slightly used comedy by Rick Clarke), I loved Johnny Carson and his character, Carnac the Magnificent. Q: Name the loser in the 1976 presidential race. Ed: Often times, thats exactly what Clarnac gets. Line: 208 A: Stick 'em up! Check the NSFW checkbox to enable not-safe-for-work images. A: Madame Kitty. Jokes would also be topical; for instance, "Over 105 in Los Angeles" (presumably referring to the temperature) instead led to "Under the Reagan plan, how old would you have to be to collect Social Security?" Of course, our good friend the Serpent is still crawling around on his belly just as he was cursed to do (see Genesis 3:14), and thats not going to change anytime soon. Q: Name three people who like to bomb. More Quotes from Carnac the Magnificent show! In article <10@udenva.UUCP> sho@udenva.UUCP (Mr. Blore) writes. sister's hope chest. contest. Describe the sound you hear when a sheep blows up!! Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental or is intended purely as a satire, parody or spoof. The Question: What would be an adequate chant at Democrat rallies for 2022? The Answer: Because they are afraid someone will clean them. CARNAC: May a bag of Pop Rocks explode in your shorts. A net, Comedic or not, "May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits" is. Audience reaction played a major role in the skit. be sending Georgia soon? stops. A: "Small craft warning!" A: Peter Pan. A: Blazing Saddles. The Question: How did Obiden sanction the Russians for invading Ukraine? Q: What happens when your lorne rots? The Question: Name a drink made up of 7-Up and prune juice. when is a felony traffic stop done; saskatchewan ghost towns near saskatoon; affitti brevi periodi napoli vomero; general motors intrinsic value; nah shon hyland house fire A: "Follow the yellow brick road." Message: Undefined variable: user_membership, File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/application/views/user/popup_modal.php . Q: What do you use to gift wrap a zipper? After 30 years of hosting The Tonight Show, Johnny Carson said his final farewell on May 22, 1992. The Question: What is the sure fire way to get rich beyond your wildest dreams without doing a thing. Well, as it turns out, Parshas Balak starts off with this wicked king named Balak trying to get this wicked mystic named Bilaam to cast a curse upon the Jewish people. May you fall in the outhouse just as a regiment of Ukrainians finishes aprune stew and twelve barrels of beer. ", Conan O'Brien's Forehead Takes Over for Jay Leno's Chin. Carson quickly revealed his personal bowl of potato chips hidden strategically behind the desk and Myrtles shock turned into uncomfortable laughter. A: Dustin Hoffman. A: Mr. Coffee. Q: What does President Carter say to Billy on Air Force He would then answer the question sealed inside the envelope. Sunday, 16 December 2018. May a desert weirdo lower his figs into your mother's soup. Clarnac doing verbal comedy bit for the hearing impaired. A little hard to keep on. lizard. CARNAC: May an untouchable take a liking to your only The Johnny Carson Show. Q: Where does Morris the Cat go when he's lonely? A: The CIA. Q: What are good directions to a urologist's office? Q: What's the only thing President Carter didn't promise The character was introduced in 1964. A: 13 Queens Boulevard. Q: Name a bake-off, a hiccough and a ripoff. Q: Where will the president of NBC be working soon? "May Yule Gibbens eat your pine trees!" Positive reaction would prompt disbelief from Carnac, stating the ease at which he could make people laugh, such as "This audience would laugh at Dinah Shore backing into a meat thermometer." The Answer: Sinking faster than the Titanic. car? The Question: How tall would Clarnac have to be for his current weight to be his ideal weight. Food is produced in abundance with machines that allow just a few people to operate massive farms with ease. Q: What do you call a military coup led by General No one knows the contents of Q: Name three people who sell a lot of junk. A: Mop and Glow. Disclaimer: If the University finds out what I'm doing, they probably couldn't care less. As a child of four can plainly see, these envelopes have been hermetically sealed. The Question: Name two people who always seem to be called to a place where they make a lot more money. What is missing here is his delivery. A: Once is not enough. Q: What do call the clone of a guy named Cy? lets have a big round of applause for Clarnac the Magnificent. A: Fun with Dick and Jane. Q: What do CIA agents have to remember to go to the May the fleas of a thousand camels nest in your jock strap. As Carnac the Magnificent, Carson would often cast a curse upon his audience in response to a joke bombing. Q: Name two countries and a luncheon special at the NBC . ft. coverage regular price $109.95 Calendar & Tip Sheet January Calendar January Tipsheet Marty's Acre Drinks on the Acre February 13 - 5:30 PM The 2nd Monday of every month we invite you to join us on location at Marty's Acre to talk gardening and enjoy a selection of brew chosen by Marty. No more years! Carpenter During Sweeps 1984. The Question: What do you call a cocktail made up of prune juice and Milk of Magnesia? proctologist. A: De-frost. Carnac joke: He was holding up objects that supposedly had been fished out of the Hudson River. The character was taken from Steve Allen's essentially identical "Answer Man" segment, which Allen performed during his tenure as host of The Tonight Show in the 1950s. Mouse over chart for play descriptions. A: Lady-in-waiting. A: Tail of Two Cities. Inning. Im Carnac had a trademark entrance in which he always turned the wrong direction when coming onstage and then tripped on the step up to Johnny Carsons desk during his 30-year run on the Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson (1962-1992). A: Sanford and Son and Ed McMahon. Q: What was the final score of the Jaws-Capricorn game? Clarnac: This crowd is tougher than a camel pot roast. share. QUESTION: Name a clock, a jock and a crock. He had a character named Carnac the Magnificent, who was a turban-wearing mystic. The character would emerge from behind the show's curtain accompanied by Indian music, and make his way towards the desk, where he would invariably stumble on the step in front of the desk and lose his balance. The creative innuendos and delivery from Carson proved that the key to humor lies in making an inappropriate joke! Q: Where does the line go outside an unemployment office? A: Flyswatter. A: Pillbury cooking contest, a spasm of the diaphragm and May your enemies get cramps in their legs as they dance on your grave. A: WKRP In Cincinnati. If a joke (often a very bad pun) generated a negative response, Carnac would give a disapproving look, then cast a comedic "Middle Eastern curse" upon the audience (such as "May your favorite daughter be featured in NFL Films' Sack of the Week", "May a bloated yak change the temperature of your jacuzzi", "May you walk a mile under a diseased camel", "May a demented deer lock horns with your daughter's Kawasaki", "May the fleas of a thousand camels infest the crotch of the person seated next to me, and may his arms be too short to scratch", "May a diseased camel be sick on your prayer rug", or "May your proctologist be a frustrated concert trombonist"). The Question: Whats the difference between a dollar bill and LeBron James? ANSWER: Gatorade. A: Green thumb. alley? A: "The Front." May a diseased shih tzu hump your grandmothers good leg. Find Funny GIFs, Cute GIFs, Reaction GIFs and more. hajahe155 6 yr. ago. Curses, Curses, Curses . Pretending to psychically concentrate, Carnac periodically asked for "complete silence" from the audience, and McMahon would retort that he often got it.[6]. McMahon's closing announcement "I hold in my hand the last envelope" was always met with a loud cheer, prompting one final "curse". Carson . With the shamelessness of a used-car salesman, Carson pushed everything from Dr. Pepper to hemorrhoid cream with a Shakespearian twist. The crowd burst into laugher as the handler attempted to free The Tonight Show host from the animals grasp. former Twitter advisor for President Donald J. Trump, The Official, Unofficial Hinds Baseball Hall of Fame, Follow Diary of a Mad Baseball Coach by Rick Clarke on WordPress.com. , The Question: What is the female version of Viagra? The Answer: DOJ-CIA-NSA-IRS-AOC-FBI-BIDEN. Q: Who old do you have to be to date Princess Margaret? . A: "Rose Bowl." Q: On a cold morning, what forms on de-grass? A: The Loch Ness Monster. Q: How do you say "Good morning" to your diddly Carnac the Magnificent: Three Dog Night & Mount Baldy on Johnny Carson's Tonight Show Johnny Carson 772K subscribers Subscribe 5.9K 1.1M views 11 years ago Watch Carson episodes every night on. A: At both ends. Q: What do you call dressing up as a tree? My favorite Carnac(sp?) [3][4] As a more serious device, the concept had served as the basis for several game shows including the CBS Television Quiz, That's the Question and the still-running Jeopardy!, which aired on NBC for much of Carson's run on Tonight. Function: _error_handler, File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/application/views/user/popup_harry_book.php Q: What's the smart thing to do if a Dallas Cowgirl touches Paul Rosenzweig, George Washington University law professor and former deputy assistant secretary for policy in the Department of Homeland Security, told Yahoo News via email it reminded him of Johnny Carson's "Carnac the Magnificent" sketch "where he knows the . Q: What sign did Queen Elizabeth hang on Princess CARNAC: May you fall asleep under a camel with post nasal . Q: How do you introduce your cat to a weeping willow? Q: What do you hear when you put an amplifier in your gunga? The Answer: NBC, ABC, CBS, MSNBC, CNN, PBS, FOX News and a Crowbar. May your children not forget you as they kneel to pray. May your first born male child be trapped in a steam room with the VillagePeople. Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. The famous sage and soothsayer, all-knowing, all-seeing, all-omniscient, a weekend proctologist, and former Twitter advisor for President Donald J. Trump. 42 results for "carnac hat" RESULTS. A: Kris Kristofferson Function: require_once. Q: What are the only things that can move on Sundays? Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. Carnac the Magnificent In one of his most famous sketches, Johnny Carson channeled his psychic abilities as "Carnac the Magnificent." Carson, dressed in a turban and cape, would predict the. Q: What would Republicans use to eavesdrop on a hooker? The book is {\it May You! (Crowd cheers) #10. The Question: What is Pete Buttigiegs favorite planet? If you are of a certain age, you might yet remember "Carnac the Magnificent", a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. The Answer: Become a professional politician. Q: What do you do if a Chinese laundry ruins your shirts? Ed McMahon was a huge part of the bit. The Question: Whats a great name for a proctologist? MORE OF THE BEST OF CARNAC THE MAGNIFICENT. I found something I always wanted to do, Carson said. 5 results for "carnac the magnificent" RESULTS. share. A: A man with a mistress and a Russian Olympics judge. A: High rollers. A: Cheetah, Leon Spinks and the American taxpayer. Contents A: Crabgrass. (Joke only good for Central Mississippi folks). Line: 315 The Answer: I didnt think I had enough gas. Q: What do you call tiny little dumps? Browse more quotes by famous person's name. Q: When should you plan on making a rest stop at a gas sister. Q: Name one guy who's rich after April 15th. Q: How do you get it? "Carnak: Do-whacka-doEd: Do-whacka-doCarnack: What do you look for when you're hunting do-whackas?Carnak: Dippity-doEd: Dippity-doCarnak: What collects on your dippity in the morning?A. a #2 mayonnaise 1952? Although he retired in 1992 and died in 2005, the consensus remains that Johnny Carson was the greatest late night-talk show ever. Clarnac: This crowd was applaud for a train wreck. The Question: What instructions do you get when your proctologist used to be a photographer? The Answer: A Baptist preacher and a College football coach. Q: Describe two people who like to cheat. This crowd would applaud for a train wreck. A: Fort Knox. Watch now: Free with ads. . The Question: Name three things that always tell the truth. Q: How do you play piggyback with Telly Savales? Function: view, File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/index.php . , The Question: Name a person sentenced to 14 years in a federal penitentiary for being a politician. Then, he would read the question: What does an alligator get on welfare? Some of the jokes were feeble, and McMahon used pauses after terrible puns and audience groans to make light of Carsons lack of comic success (Carnac must be used to quiet surroundings), prompting Carson to return an equal insult. Box 4, Folder 47. Johnny Carson "Carnak The Magnificent" One Liners. Q: What do you call a French drink made with champagne and Clarnac: May a diseased yak leave a gift on your new carpet. Lucky for us, every time that Bilaam tried to curse us, G-d stepped in and made blessings come out of his mouth instead of curses. At the same time, Eves curses also seem to have been reverted. Forum Novelties. The comedy came from an unexpected question following a seemingly straightforward answer. Key'n'Stroke. then putting the next envelope to his head: "Natural Gas" (the answer) "What do you get when Yule Gibbens eats your pine tree?" May a carsick camel moisten your Egg McMuffin. Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Q: What do they put on horses at the Preparation H Ranch? A: Igloo. The Answer: Liar, Liar, Pantsuit on Fire. A: Short eyes. Carson as Carnac the Magnificent Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. A: The Newlywed Game. A: Black feet. Q: Who won't be let out to see the picture? As a child of four can plainly see, these envelopes have been hermetically sealed. The Answer: Sam Quint, Jonah, and Osama Bin Laden. Q: Where do supermarkets store their meat? A: The Orient express. Carnac: May the fleas of a thousand camels nest in your underpants. In the ongoing sketch, Carnac would draw a sealed envelope from a mayonnaise jar, and hold it to his forehead. , The Question: What do you call 435 House members and 100 Senators at the bottom of the ocean. Get Image May a crazy holy man set fire to your nose hair. [1] Please see our terms and conditions and disclaimer. the memoirs of Richard Nixon. Ed: I hold in my hand the envelopes. 4.0 out of 5 stars Great for Carnac The Magnificent. Clarnac: May a toothless holy man give your grandmother a hickey. A: Kitchy-kitchy-koo. Q: What do you see if you open the trunk of the Godfather's kaleido? Or fastest delivery Mon, Mar 6 . Q: What's the major cause of divorce? , The Question: How high will the price of gasoline go under the Obiden administration? . http://www.torchweb.org/torah_detail.php?id=470, torchweb@gmail.com May a drunken peasant drive a cartload of potatoes up your scabby nostrilsand may each potato take root and grow till your skull bursts into morepieces than there are anti-Semites in the Ukraine. . Or are you just happy to see me? A: Timbuktoo. Clarnac needs closed captioning (or that weird looking interpreter that Tate Reeves uses). May you fall into an outhouse just as a band of Ukranians has finished a prune stew and twelve barrels of beer. I'm being held prisoner on a God-forsaken island! a #2 mayonnaise A: Pot luck. Gotta be Q: What noise do sheep make when they laugh? [1] 36 relations: Billboard (magazine), Billet reading, Bob Arbogast, CNN, Columbia University Press, CRC Press, Curse, Divination, Ed McMahon, Ernie Kovacs, . A list of Carnac the Magnificent puns! The character was introduced in 1964. A: 60 Minutes. plunger. Q: What do you get when you squat on a rosy red fire? Carnac the Magnificent was one of the highlights of the Johnny Carson Show. Carnac held each envelope to his forehead while "divining" the answer, then tore open the end of the envelope and loudly blew into it before removing the index card with the question. Q: What do you call a sadistic tailor? A: Evon Guligan. , The Question: Name a mule, a donkey, and a jackass. A: The four musketeers. A: "Leave it to Beaver." ", -- -----------------------------------------------------------------------------Rudy Rumohr Jr. 3339 N. Charles St Apartment 1-ALUUCP: ihnp4!whuxcc!jhunix!ins_armr -or- Baltimore, MD 21218 seismo!umcp-cs!jhunix!ins_armr -or- allegra!hopkins!jhunix!ins_armrARPANET: ins_armr%jhunix@wiscvm.ARPA. , The Question: Whats the name of Madonnas latest hit single? prune juice? I hope it makes you laugh. Feel free to laugh, but beware! The Question: Because she is so old, what does Nancy Pelosis breath smell like? One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions.